Capoeira

I haven't been doing very much of anything lately, but I have been doing quite a bit of Capoeira. Usually I go three or four times a week. Usually I don't really say anything about except that it's cool and I like it, which are both true, but it doesn't do justice for how profound of an effect it can really have on a person's life.

When I started about two years ago, I didn't really know anything about it. I just thought, it looks like a good workout and it they play and sing pretty music. So I started training in Madison. And you know what, I didn't really actually like it that much because I felt so awkward. All the movements seemed so strange and difficult and I just felt lost when we played games. But I kept going for some reason. I really don't even know why.

But eventually, after training on and off for about a year I got to a point where I really started understanding it a little better, and everything started to flow a little easier and I was more comfortable with myself and the other people in the group and I found myself wanting to go.

And so what? Wellllll, I think it has to do with a lot of things.

Capoeira teaches you to be comfortable with and learn how to move your body. It teaches you equilibrium, strength, flexibility and patience. It teaches you to work with other people in an almost intimate way and be comfortable with them and with yourself. And you just feel good. Remember what it's like to walk around and genuinely feel good and calm and confident and happy? It's easy to forget but capoeira helps me remember.

But I think more than the physical aspect, it teaches you about life. about people. about interacting with them, knowing yourself, confronting situations and letting things flow. It has so much wisdom in it.

And it is spiritual and religious in a very beautiful, not dogmatic, unthreatening way. And you allow yourself to experience that spiritual part of life when you are playing and singing and watching. The music talks about God, love, heartbreak, loneliness, Brazil, slavery, the game itself... it talks about life.

And it is a family. Wherever you go. Your capoeira group supports you and helps you and you support and help them, wherever they are in the world. And besides that, you can always find capoeiristas all over the world that have a mutual understanding of the same art. And than in itself is a very beautiful thing, to connect on that level of appreciation.

When you watch it from the outside, as in, not being a member of a group, I think it is hard to understand and it seems almost simplistic or stupid or confusing. But I think, like anything, once you really dig deeper into something you begin to understand the richness and complexity and even beauty behind whatever it is.

Which is why I am going to be an anthropologist.

Also, one other thing. The other day, a girl asked me about what the "rules" are here. Well, there aren't really any official rules you have to follow here (i.e. cross at the crosswalk, give all candidates for employment equal opportunities regardless of race, sex, sexual orientation, etc.), but we were talking about what girls should and should not do here in Peru. And I told her, "don't be drunk and slutty and you should be fine." And she responded, "Well, that's what I do in the US. " And I thought, well, that's the thing, we're not in the United States. And consequently, the same rules don't apply; our rulebook reads differently than the Peruvian one, if you haven't noticed. Which led me to think, "Why the hell do United Statesians (Americans) think that the brilliant rules they think up for their own country are going to be applicable in completely different cultural contexts?" And I said to myself, "God, that's stupid. I have no idea."

Relaxa, meu filho.

Hey. I know I've been hating pretty hard on Peru lately. But listen.

I want to tell you all about my absolute, all-time favorite part of Korea ever. I know maybe you've already heard me talk about it. But I want to write about it because it will make more sense.

Actually, I am going to recommend you read what I posted below because it explains it really well. This is from the website: http://wiki.galbijim.com/Jjimjilbang

찜질방 (Jjimjilbang)

Jjimjilbangs are one of the truly great aspects of a unique Korean culture. These are large, gender-segregated public bathhouses complete with hot tubs, showers, Swedish-style saunas and massage tables, similar to what you might find in a Korean sauna or mogyoktang.

However, in other areas of the building or on other floors, after donning your robe, you will enter the unisex areas and will usually find a snack bar, ondol-heated floor for lounging and sleeping on, wide-screen TVs, a PC bang (internet cafe type of thing), a noraebang (karaoke room), and sleeping quarters with either bunk beds or sleeping mats.

[edit]Orientation

• When walking into your run-of-the-mill jjimjilbang, you will encounter the front desk, who, upon payment, will give you a receipt, key, towels, and outfit.

• At this point you will want to walk through the doors or elevator titled 남탕(men's sauna) or 여탕(women's sauna). Depending on the place, either before the entrance or just after it, you'll find shoe lockers. That's what your key is for. Store your shoes and go inside. Some modernized places have keys that only work once, so once you re-open it, you might not be able to lock it again without a trip back to front desk for a new key.

• Once inside, you'll usually have somebody there or at a desk who will take your receipt and give you a locker key. This is where you store all of your clothes and belongings. If you didn't bring a razor, shampoo, or toothbrush with you, this person will have a small, cheap selection for you to choose from. You can also buy a green scrub pad that Koreans like to use to scrape excess dirt and grime off of themselves. Toothpaste and soap are free and can be found in the bathhouse.

• If it wasn't already happening since entering Korea, from this point on, expect to be noticed and watched. Korean bathhouse populations usually raise a collective eyebrow over a foreigner being in their midst and use the opportunity to check out physical features not seen in public.

• Once you are all naked, put your key band around your ankle and venture towards the glass door heading to the bathhouse area. Towels are usually kept on the outside of this door.

• Inside, there will be jacuzzis and hot tubs of various temperatures. Some will have minerals such as jade added for health benefits.

• You will also see rows of stand-up or sit-down showers. Cardinal cultural rule: Shower before getting into the jacuzzis.

• Also interspersed in the bathhouse area, you'll find the hot Swedish-style saunas, heat lamps for lounging under, and sometimes tiny swimming pools and cascading mini-waterfalls that are designed to act as a massage for your back. Somewhere in the mix, you'll also see massage tables manned by a masseuse, with rates ranging from 20-50,000 Won. Sorry, but it'll be someone of your gender.

• Once you are finished with your soak, head out of the bathhouse and you'll find an area with hairdryers, cotton swabs, gel, hairspray, etc...

• From that point on, after putting on a robe or T-shirt and shorts, you are ready to walk out into the rest of the jjimjilbang and explore the unisex area and facilities mentioned earlier

The moral of the story is that these places are made for straight-up, hardcore, I-mean-business RELAXING. I l-o-v-e love those places. They are so healthy and cool and koreans are so respectful even when you are the only naked foreigner in the whole place. It's so crazy! Because everyone is completely naked in the baths. And it's like, whatever. Nobody thinks twice about it. It's as if you were hanging out at a park, conversing, shooting the shit, wasting time, but in this case everybody's sitting around naked in large bath tubs filled with flower-scented cleansing water.

After having been to several of these places, I really started to take relaxing a little more seriously. You may think I'm joking, but I'm not. I never valued relaxing enough before. I always wanted to be doing something productive. even when I was resting I wanted to be doing it productively. BUT, you know what they say, "she needs wide open spaces, yeah yeah, room to make her big mistakes...." Thank you very much, dixie chicks. You unpatriotic, anti-American scumbags. hahaha.

Anyways. Back to Peru.

The thing is, here, I've also been learning how to relax. But in a way that has to do with how to live your life. I think I've said this before, but I can just hang out here. And not be productive. and it's cool. And I like it.

Did I mention I got a tattoo in January? I did. I'm sure you'll all be very pleased with my decision. haha.

Even though some parts of existing here are kind of taking their toll on other parts of my mind, there are some parts of my soul that I am recovering here that I've lost and there are some parts of my soul that are being created that I didnt even know could exist.

Getting to know me and more thoughts about sex

I'm going to start off by telling you about a conversation I have on average of 4 to 7 times per week. It more or less goes like this, with questions almost always asked in the order as written below.

There is a man working behind the counter at the store. Or he may be a fellow classmate. Or a fellow party-goer. He may be a male between the ages of 15 and 70. And this is the conversation:

Man: You're not from here, are you?

Alyse: No.

M: Where are you from?

A: The United States

M: What part?

A: The North, two hours from Chicago

M: Ohhhhh.... I have family in California/New York/Miami

A: Ohhhh..... cool.

M: It gets really cold where your from, doesn't it?

A: Yes, it's horrible.

M: So, do you already have a boyfriend here?

A: Yes.

And that's that. I swear to god I have lost count about how many times I've had this conversation. And I promise you, they ALWAYS ask if I have a boyfriend. Also, some of you may think the attractive black man that I have pictures with on facebook is my boyfriend. That is not true. We're friends, and he's not Peruvian. He's African.

This next part of the post is dedicated to more thoughts and observations I have regarding sex. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but I think this aspect of social dynamics in Peru is one of the most fascinating but also most disturbing for me as a female, a sociology major and a westerner with a liberal arts education.

Before I left the US to come here to Peru, I had gone out with several different boys, all of whom were quite different from each other. Some were more liberal while others more conservative. Some more machista, others more egalitarian. Some with a college education, others without. However, in all of the cases, all the boys realized that I was an independent, self-sufficient, intelligent human being whose opinion deserved to be listened to or at least considered, if not respected. And this went for issues dealing with sex as well. That is, if I felt uncomfortable with something, they always listened. Nobody ever tried to trick me into thinking something else or forced me to do something I didn't want to- whether it was as small as something like drinking something at a party or making out or as big as something like spending the night together. I always had an equal say.

Here, however, I have found that this is a luxury I have taken for granted. It seems that in many cases, it is not assumed that I am an intelligent, self-sufficent human being whose opinion deserves to be considered or listened to. Sometimes, I will say that, no, I don't want to have another drink or go to a bar and instead of being taken seriously, a boy will try very hard to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I will say that no, I don't want to make out with you, and he will physically try to force me to make out with him. Sometimes I will say that, no I don't want to go to a hotel, I want to go home, and he will try to convince the taxi driver to go to a hotel while I am trying to give directions to my house.

Boys here have dominated the arts of persuasion and manipulation. Sometimes I find myself clearly stating what I do or don't want and then I find a boy trying to tell me that, "no, it's not like that, because blah blah blah." Or sometimes what happens is that they agree with me and tell me I'm right or what I think is just fine. But in the end it's just bullshit to gain my trust and then do something completely different or contradictory to what I said or asked for in the beginning.

You know, I know all this nonsense happens in the United States all the time too, but I have just experienced it so much more here in 8 months and have felt a greater lack of respect here than I have ever felt in my whole life in the US.

It is such a strange thing to experience, especially since sometimes these boys are your friends or they really do care about you. It's just there's another kind of darker side to the dynamic that always seems to show itself in my relationships here. And a lot of times it is really subtle but then you get to a certain point you think, "Why the hell did he not listen to me? And what the hell am I doing here right now?"

Being a gringa... kind of a drag.

Ok, guys. Now, I know I've written about all of the below randomly in other posts before, but I would just like to compile all of my subjective observations into one coherent article so as to make sense of my feelings that are at least, in part, due to social contraints, expectations and pressures that exist here in Perú.

The thing is, some times are really great here, and some are really stupid, just like in the United States. But recently, I've been feeling particularly down about my gringa identity. I know you have to love yourself and be confident and all that jazz, but the fact is, sometimes the man gets you down.

So here is what I'm talking about. Because I'm a gringa (a white American female), these are some things that happen:
- Even when guys (young and old, very old) have the f-ing courtesy not to whistle at me or say some stupid f-ing comment, I can feel their staring eyes undressing me as I walk past because I know exactly what those sick schmucks are thinking. f that. I mean, I already know that men are just the same in the US. but, jesus, I feel it every day when I walk out my door.

- When I go out with Peruvian boys, even the ones that are just my friends, people generally assume the following: The Peruvian is a brichero (peruvian boy that takes advantage of naive American girl to get to the US) and therefore either applauded for his cunningness or looked down upon for his bad intentions. Also, that he may just be using me for the short term goals of money, alcohol or sex (since American girls, as displayed in movies like American Pie, are all loose lushes that have money to waste). The girl (me) is a stupid, naive American that doesnt know the how things work here and little does she know that after this boy uses me for his purposes, will toss me out like the garbage that litters the streets of this country.

- At school, since I am an American, it is assumed that my world views are misinformed, ethno-centric, and based only on American values and America's importance over any other country in the world. That is to say, that Americans don't get and aren't willing to understand the reality of other people and are stupid, selfish, lazy, rich, ignorant schmucks. Have you ever watched MTV? have you ever thought, "God, this shit is so stupid. These people are so stupid. Why am I even watching this?" Well that MTV that you sit and watch is the same MTV that Peruvians sit and watch and at least subconsciously formulate their opinions about American culture with. I hate TV.

- One time I went to a bar with a boy I was seeing where his co-workers were, since he also happens to work there. The fact that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend didn't help the situation, but it sure as f didn't help that I was a gringa with the potential of having the above mentioned characteristics. And, I have never in my life, understood the definition of cold shoulder more than I had there. Almost more than I feel when I am in my stupid social science classes with my stupid social sciences peruvian classmates.

Listen, I know that everyone doesn't think this way about gringas and I don't necessarily fulfill all of the stereotypical expectations that people have of me, and I know there are much greater problems I could be having, since I do in fact have friends here that don't treat me like an uneducated, overly self-interested slut. However, think about when you walk into McDonald's and you see the manager who is a grungy-looking 45 year old female with a grumpy look on her face and yellow teeth. Don't tell me you think she is the most interesting, intelectual, loving person there could be in the world, and don't tell me you are about to interact with her as such. You will probably take some of those stereotypical assumptions you involuntarily make about other people, and those will inevitably color the type behavior you exhibit toward her. Is that not so? Maybe not always, but a lot of the time.

Everything is all fine. Peru is great. the people here are great. My education in great. And I like having problems and stupid shit happen to me so I can learn from it. really. it's just, there's nothing like being an inconspicuous white girl on a campus filled with other white girls that look exactly the same.

I know that one day I must must die, I'm alive.

Ok, well, the title of this post comes from lyrics of a Brazilian singer called Caetano Veloso. The song is called Nine out of Ten. He has a beautiful voice. It makes me want to melt. Look the song up on youtube.

A lot of times when I am here in this country, I think about those lyrics a lot. How alive I am. how finite time seems and how the end of something is always approaching.

Like my stay here in the beautiful city of Lima. Yes, yes, it is. a few short months and I will be back with all of you lovely folks in the U. S. of A. Best country on the frickin planet. hahaha.

Anyways.

Instead of taking the upper level course of Political Sociology, I decided to take "Sports for Girls" and Film class. The former is a gym class for girls. Yes. segregated by gender. That's how we do here. But it's cool. I can look like andidiot without worrying about boys for two hours of my week. I find here that I am more worried about boys here than I ever have before... but in a way that makes me want to wear a headscarf... or a nun outfit. Or dark brown eyes and shiny black hair.

Anyways, in gym class, pretty much all the girls where spandex pants and tight work-out shirts. Except for the Americans who wear short shorts and baggy t-shirts. hahaha.

Today I went to immigrations because I had to change my visa status. I didnt know what I was getting myself into. Here's how it went:

-Get off the bus, find the street I am looking for. Get to the street and find it filled with people trying to get you to come into one of 50 travel agencies within a 1 block radius to look at their flight offers. Fend off stares and comments from Peruvian boys.

- Get to immigrations. Of course there is no sign telling you where anything is. But the security guard knows that I need to go to floor 3, window 11.

- Get to floor three, window 11. And I think to myself, "Is there a line? What are all these people doing sitting in these chairs?" Decide to just walk up to the window when it may have been my turn.

- The guy behind the glass tells me. "You need to go across the street to a public internet place, and type up, in microsoft word, a statement saying that you can take out money from your bank account and it's enough to last you until the end of your stay. Print it out and sign it. Bring it back... oh yeah, and also, go downstairs and make a payment at the bank on the first floor."

- Go outside, look for an internet place for 5 minutes. Type up something official sounding with bad Spanish grammar.

- Wait in line with the 50 other people waiting to make payments.

- Go upstairs again

- The guy tells me..." uhhh, ok. Now, in two weeks, send an email to this address to see if everything was processed."

And that was it. 1 and 1/2 hours later, I am on my merry way.

I was such a crabby patty afterward. But it was all good in the hood. Then I went to the library to read about how Capitalism and liberal economic policies have been destroying indigenous cultures for centuries. The good news is, now that modernization and progress have arrived to the deepest, most unknown corners of the jungle, we will all be fine.

In other news, I started salsa lessons. Yay.

Also, it's friday tomorrow!