Sexual Politics and Gender Roles... make my head hurt.

Guys. I´m sorry, but I have to tell you about this aspect of life because it is so. fing. pervasive.

In the study abroad handbook, that Madison gave us, they forgot to put this section in. Which would have helped a great deal. All it said was something like, "The country you´re moving to may have different social rules for what men and women are expected to act like and what is viewed as proper and improper. So you should be careful when interacting with your host family and new friends." Well, what the hell is that supposed to mean?! I´m about to tell you.

As always, these are all generalizations. So. yeah.

Boys. Boys here, are UNBELIEVEABLY persistent, straightforward, overly confident, and generally annoying. DO NOT. do not. give out your phone number. Unless you want them calling you ALL the time. Even when they agree that they will not call you, they still do.
Here´s an anecdote about what happened to me this weekend: My and two other girls went out with three guys. I started talking to one, who promptly, 3 minutes into the conversation, suggested that I go along with him to Chiclayo (north, on the coast I believe) to be his date for his cousin´s wedding. He would fly us there and I would meet his family and we´d have a grand old time. Later that night, we started talking about marriage. Yes. marriage, and the underlying implication... I was a great candidate for a wife! Oh. my. god.
Boys think that American girls are generally a. White b. Wealthy. c. Permiscuous and d. Attend La Católica. And why do you think boys here think that? It couldn´t have to do with Hollywood and MTV... could it? I don´t think so. hahaha.
Boys are also free to sleep with as many girls as the please. Much like the United States. Except here, it is manifested more as an obligation than an underlying social expectation.

Girls. Girls had better be monogamous and in a commited relationship if they are going to do so much as kiss a boy. And you know what we call girls who get around here? Perras. Which would translate to slut, not bitch. Girls do not kiss boys that they are not seeing. And also, you know how in the United States, there is this sort of trial period, between getting to know someone and officially dating, when you are more or less free to do as you please with no strings attached (or so we say)? That trial period is a genuinely foreign concept here, non-existent. It´s all or nothing. Obviously there are girls that don´t adhere to these standards, but not once in my time here have I found a Peruvian who is alright and accepting of a lifestyle like that. It´s always like, "Oh.... yeah... no, that´s not ok here..."

In other news, abortion laws here are ridiculous. Now, I know this is a touchy subject, but I think we all realize that there will be women killing their unborn children whether it is legal or not which is why I am so grateful, that women can go about it in a safe, healthy, clean, not sketchy way. Last week I found out that:

"Abortion in Peru is currently illegal except in case of the threat to the life or health of the woman. ^[1] A woman that consents to an abortion can be sentenced to up to 2 years in prison. A person that performs an illegal abortion can be sentenced to 1 to 6 years in prison.^[2]

Abortion has been generally illegal in Peru since 1924" (wikipedia... hahaha)

Mariah told me that, in her human sexuality class, her professor was telling stories: this woman was raped and she had to have the baby. There was also another woman who was going to have a baby with no brain and they made her have it. They are strict as hell here. I was a little distressed when I found all this out. And later that day I went to my history class and started talking to a girl about all this stuff. When I asked if she knew anyone who had gotten an abortion, she said, yeah.... her friend was seeing someone and got pregnant and found someone to do the procedure, and it all ended up fine. But it was hard to find someone to do it safely, since everything is under the table and informal and unregulated. Which means, even underage catholic girls have abortions too.

Thankfully, today as I was walking around campus, there where people dressed up as clowns (no joke) handing out pro-life propaganda. Like they need anymore support! They are on a catholic campus with the support of their conservative government that valorizes the non-separation of church and state, in a country with some of the most restrictive abortion laws in South America. Pro-Life, Peruvian Payasos. sweet.

Now, I´m just going to say... if guys are trying to have sex with as many girls as possible. And girls are supposed to do just the opposite. And if guys do not know how to take no for an answer, and girls have almost no public or social network for taking care of their sexual health (when it pertains to non-committed relationships at least), what happens when girls feel pressured, or just want, to sleep with these so god-damned persistent, machisto Peruvians? and what happens when they get pregnant? Well, they get to a) Have an under the table abortion b) Have the baby and be ostracized by the society that perpetuates such a ridiculous set of social rules or c) Marry the dad and, inevitably, live happily ever after. From my own personal experience and observations, choice c usually seems to work out the best.... ha.ha.