See where I come from, you gotta be about... First Semester Reflexions

Lil Wayne once said:
"(Man they just) talkin bout it [x2].
And I'm on the streets with it [x2]
See where I come from, you gotta be about it.
And if you want it (want it) we come and see about it."

And this frustration, my friends, I, too, have felt so very often. Let me explain.

It's nearly the end of my first semester here (I have three days left of finals next week) and I feel like I can finally draw some conclusions about what I have experienced thus far.

1. A lot of times, so many times, people here just talk and talk and talk. They even have great ideas that, were they to be carried out, could be awesome realities. But what happens is that people talk about so much stuff, for so long, that a) things just never happen b) The idea does materialize but in a way that is half is cool as what it could have been or c) Things happen but hours, days or weeks later than planned.

I feel like in Wisconsin, we had ideas, we talked about them, we made an adecuate analysis of the effort and requirements needed to make them happen, and then we did what we said we were going to do, and we did it well. Not always, but a lot of the time

Which is why when Lil Wayne says, "They just talkin bout it (peruvians)... See where I come from (Madison) you gotta be about it (actually do something)," I can really, really identify.
But hey, I know there's a lot of talk up there too. It's just that there's more here it seems like.

2. Our education system is a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Some of you may happen to know that I have a love affair with my college education, and when I'm here, I realize it more and more.
When I went to La Catolica, I thought, "yeah, this is a nice campus. Standard. small libraries. Books. tiny computer labs. yeah. This should be fine." It's on par with your average university in the United States.
But, when I talk with the exchange students from Cusco who describe their university that doesn't have updated materials or adecuate classrooms, and the students lock the professor out of the room so he can't give the exam and their professors are on strike right now and they're more than a semester behind and they describe La Catolica as "a paradise." All I can do is sit there and think, I don't know what to think.

3. There sure is a lot of noise and pollution and humidity in this city

4. It really is normal to live with your family until your early thirties if you're still not married

5. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better think twice, I'm telling you why... Quieren (They want) aprovechar (take advantage of) y (and) enganar (deceive) you. So don't really, actually, for sure trust anyone until you really actually for sure think you know what type of person they are.
I mean. This is a good thing to do no matter where you are, obviously, but especially here.

6. After my class about kinship and social relations and being in Peru where family is so central to everything, I think I'm done trying to live such an independent, isolated, detached existance. In fact, I'm getting really excited to come back and try out my new frame of mind!

Alright, well, that's it, really. Once finals are over, I won't be so boring and I'll have more ridiculous things to tell you about when I go on more adventures.

Mary

Just an update for all of you sly foxes that thought you could snag one of those Mary shirts...

I can't get you one!

Hahaha.
I'm sorry. So many of you have asked me, and the truth is that someone give it to me as a gift and he found it at least 10 years ago and has searched far and wide ever since, only to always come up empty handed.

But, rest assured, I'll have my eyes peeled for the next 8 months. 8 months! hahaha.

Maybe I'll stumble across something like that when I go visit Jesus in Rio.

(I Stand) Corrected and other Clarifications

Hey hey hey. These are things I've learned in reference to statements or observations I've made in previous posts that I was wrong about or that are in need of clarification

1. Peru's abortion laws aren't the absolute most restrictive in South America. According to one lady on the panel for a legalizing abortion debate at La Catolica, Chile allows abortion under no circumstances while Peru allows it in cases where the women's life is endangered.

Also, there really is a debate going on in this country about abortion. I've been seeing sides for meetings and discussions and such pertaining to both sides of the argument... mostly inside of La Catolica, but outside too.

Also, Mariah went to a place called Los Olivos and homemade signs (think microsoft office style) straight-up advertising the services of an abortion doctor. And she's also talked with people that have said that getting abortions here is super common.

2. I said I didn't know why there were only men at that one bar I went to (where we finished an entire bottle of Pisco)... It was because of the lighting. At that place the lighting is really bright and the whole point is to go there and talk and debate and be comfortable if you happen to be two men going out for a drink; that, as opposed to going to some place with dark lighting where the objective is going home with the other person at the end of the night.

3. People DO drink there hard alcohol with soda... like rum and coke. It may be that if someone invites you to have a drink with no mixer or chaser, their intentions are a little questionable...

4. At la Catolica at least, there's always lots of signs and conversastions about LGBT issues and women's rights and violence against women, so it's not always SO heterosexual all the time.

5. Not everybody is Catholic (obviously). There is a considerable population of Evagelicals here. And Mormons too. In fact, I met both just the other week. However, I'm deciding to align my identity with the Catholic side of things. Now that I have my own personal saint, have a really cool shirt that has a huge image of Mary on both sides, and have attended 3 catholic processions for patron saints, I'm really starting to get a feel for it.

Anything else you would care to clarify for me or ask? I am always willing to consider the fact that I am not being fair or clear or specific enough or just wrong.

Stuck in the middle with you.... yes, here I am.

The other day, I finally responded to one of Wallin's messages after a half-month unintentional hiatus, but, as I wrote, I finally admitted to myself in writing that, the more time I spend here, the more evident it is that there is no way ever I would want to be Peruvian, especially a Peruvian girl, and also that there is no way I will ever be the same American I used to be... At this point, I look at the pros and the cons of both sides and all I can think about was the idea that Bob Dylan so eloquently articulated, but applied to me in a more metaforical sense...
"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, and here I am, stuck in the middle with you."
And there Wallin and I are, stuck in the middle of two countries, and in my case at least, two frames of mind.

And I'm serious I feel like there's clowns to the North of me whenever I read those godforsaken Yahoo headlines that show up when I'm checking my mail and jokers to my right when I listen to Peruvians telling me one thing and doing another.
So that's that.

Uhhhh, esssdeeeee, about the trip that I was supposed to talk about in this post... I'll just say that every time I go to the moutains, I love it more than the last. And I will also say that we took some pictures with a non-digital camera that I really hope to get on a computer so you can all see. And I'm actually serious about that. The greens and the blues up there are so vivid it seems like a dreeeeam.

Remember when I said a while ago that I felt like I was in high school when I was watching those bands play at my school? Well, I've been talking with the other exchange students and they feel the same way too. That these people are in high school. Seriously. It's weird. Think about being 20 and in your third year of college, going back to high school.... bummmmerrrrr. THANKFULLY, though, since I can't understand Spanish very well when Peruvians talk amongst themselves, I don't have to listen to whatever high school nonsense they are talking about. All of the above, unfair, far-too-broad generalizations, but that's just how the cookie crumbles.

In other news, there is a song by Sublime that goes "Every day I love her just a little bit more and she loves meeeeeee the same." And, as some of you may know, that exact situation has been my problem for the last 5 years, and even in this country, it hasn't seemed to change one bit. I'll let you all know when/if it does.

Moments ago, I just got done talking to my family, and I admitted to myself that gender roles are ok. Can you believe I just wrote that?! Gender roles are ok. I'm actually ok with them, even in this machista, heterosexual country, I feel like I'm ok with doing what girls are "supposed" to do and guys doing what they're supposed to do. That's just how it is... although I may not feel particularly inclined to follow the rules all the time.

Also, along those lines, I read one of my friends facebook statuses that said, "boxes are f-ed up" as a reference to the limitations that society puts on people and the negative effects that result... right? I think so.
Well, even though I tend to agree, I realize here, that I actually don't mind the boxes. In fact, I think those boxes sometimes exist to give people a sense of belonging, direction, understanding of who they maybe are (or would like to be) and what is required of them. And that, although society may be telling you who you should be and what you should do and how you should act or dress, that in certain places in the world (maybe not in America), if you follow those rules (and you appreciate those rules and values of that particular place), that sense of belonging and understanding and acceptance and guidance you get in return can be absolutely worth it...

Some bad things about Peru....

...just to be fair.
I know I spent the last post hating on America, like I always do. But don't worry. There are plenty of times that I hate on this country too. For example...

- There is no potable drinking water anywhere. But there are plastic water bottles littering the streets and the mountains and the beaches everywhere.
- Politics here are corrupt as hell.
- Ketchup and Mustard here are gross
- Sometimes, it happens that everybody here takes sooooo long to make a decision or do something or go somewhere, and then all of a sudden, the people are like "Come on! Let's go! We have to hurry and get our act together... blah blah blah."
- Lima has the ugliest sky I have ever seen in my entire life.
- People are always trying to sell you stuff everywhere you go.
- I feel like, the more time I spend in this city, the more frigid my demeanor becomes and the less open my heart is... Which sucks! Because I was already pretty cold and mildly heartless to begin with.
- Everbody here is always trying to take advantage of everybody else.

Those were just some highlights.

The next post, I hope to share with all of you a happier tale of my weekend adventure to a tiny pueblo in the mountains that can only be reached on foot. It was beautiful and amazing and oftentimes surreal. Until then!